Understanding Why We Have To Say The Word "No" and Feel No Guilt
The word no is the first and most serious problem between parents and child as they start to impose limits on him. Check out why you should say no
Parenthood
Schedules and Routines for babies and toddlers
Daily routines are the first of your children education. Routines protect them from fatigue and getting tired, allow normal bodily function and basic functions needs. Learn more about it
Self-sufficiency in children
“Let me do it on my own” Self-sufficiency in children is the ability to control, manage and take initiative and personal decisions about how to live according to rules, preferences and develop basic activities for every daily life. As parents, sometimes we carry out activities for our children which they are perfectly capable of doing themselves. For example, when we are in a rush, how often do we end up dressing them or washing their faces, putting on their shoes or feeding them? Activities which according to their age they are more than able to do for themselves. But autonomy is not only about dressing yourself or eating unaided, but it’s also about taking decisions and making choices. The acquisition of language itself gives children independence whereby they can now answer questions for themselves rather than their parents answering questions for them. Self-sufficiency in children starts from birth One type of self-sufficiency in toddlers is the ability to express and identify their basics needs for well-being, play and relaxation. To discover, understand and control their own bodies is also a way of acquiring self-sufficiency and independence. They can learn to understand their limitations and abilities in order to act in an ever more independent fashion. Soon after birth, children start to build a sense of individuality, defined by a physical as well as psychological identity, with progressive self-sufficiency and growing confidence in their own abilities. The play is one way of developing autonomy. Enjoying the activities and using them to develop interests, knowledge, feelings, and emotions. Self-sufficiency also influences the self-confidence of a child. To be able to do things for themselves makes them feel good about themselves and builds a positive image of themselves and acceptance of their own bodies, their needs, state and emotions, their characteristics, capacities, and limitations. It’s important to adopt the child’s biological rhythm to the routines of daily life. It’s key that the child feels loved, valued and appreciated by the adults who care for him. To strengthen self-sufficiency in children it’s important that they have a role to play in daily activities. It’s just as important to take care of your child’s physical needs as his psychological needs. It is important for development that the child has a framework for organizing activities and relationships. During lactation, adjust the child’s activities to his biological needs in order to start the process of adjustment. Routine will help to increase independence (food, sleep, hygiene, play …). Adults have an important role to play in encouraging the child’s ability to grow self-sufficiently by teaching them what they can do alone, leaving them to assume more tasks, accepting that you have to take small risks provided it doesn’t pose a serious threat to the safety of the child. Areas of self-sufficiency: Self-care Includes all areas related to the bathroom, eating, hygiene, and physical care. From early on we need to make sure they can dress themselves, choose their clothes, eat unaided, and that they are interested in their attire, hair, and cleanliness, even if at the start they can’t do this well (one solution is to put a very large bib on them so that they can eat comfortably and we are at ease with any stains, letting them choose accessories that they are most comfortable with, etc.) Auto-direction Abilities related to being able to self-direct oneself in their behavior, understanding personal choices, respecting times, finishing tasks, asking for help when they need it. Etc. We need to respect their meal times, sleep and play. Communication We need to build on situations where the children are the ones who communicate what they want, we shouldn’t jump in and give them what we think they need or express it for them. Communication is learned through imitation, therefore we should talk to them and verbalize all our actions as this allows the child to understand. When they know how to talk a little, it’s interesting if they get involved in theatre and drama which helps them to express themselves and communicate, enabling memory, expressions, and communication as a whole. Functional Academic Abilities core school leanings which are applied to daily life (reading, writing, calculus, biology, and science) and which is implicit in order to function independently (to buy, read the metro stations signs, understand personal relationships, how society works, etc.) Social Abilities Understand social interactions (start, maintenance, and ending of interactions), identify the social context in which they are participating, recognize feelings, control impulses, help and cooperate with others. Children need to learn to feel and know how to take social situations in order to play in the playground with other children, to understand that people need to be treated with respect and this is how to achieve things, and how to behave in society (no interrupting), understand other peoples problems and needs, and not to put yourself above everyone, etc. Entertainment and Free time Develop varied interests, satisfaction at home and participation in appropriate games and social situations. We shouldn’t only try to introduce the most varied entertainment options that we can for our children (sport, art, culture, mixing with friends) but we should also ensure that it fulfills them and is interesting for them all the whilst keeping an eye on each step that they take. It’s not always the case that if they are entertained for an afternoon that it’s particularly good for them. Gabinete Psicopedagogico de Eduqa Escuelas Infantiles Find out more about tips for parents in our blog
Thumbsucking
At what age do children usually start sucking their thumb? Why do they do it? Why is it such a common habit? by Dr. Laurie Mazzuca, Child and Adolescent Psychologist Thumbsucking is a natural, healthy habit that actually begins in the womb! The same sucking reflex (The Babkin reflex) that allows an infant to nurse from his mother’s breast is what inspires him to suck on just about anything that approaches his mouth. Infants learn a lot about their world through sucking, and the act of sucking helps infants feel secure, warm, and happy. Thumbsucking or using a pacifier is very relaxing for infants and allows them to self-soothe when they are feeling overstimulated or uncomfortable. What could cause a child who was not previously a thumbsucker to suddenly start? Thumbsucking is an act of self-comfort. A young child who begins to suck his thumb, or intensifies the thumbsucking as he gets older, is trying to gain control over himself and his own feelings of insecurity or discomfort. If a child who did not suck his thumb or use a pacifier during infancy begins to do so during the toddler years, it is usually a sign that the child is feeling more distress, and is trying to cope with that distress. For example, it is not uncommon for toddlers to increase their sucking habits after the birth of a younger sibling, or when they begin school. These changes represent both exciting and stressful events for the child, and the thumbsucking is a way for the child to deal with that stress. Is a pacifier better than thumb-sucking? There is no right or wrong answer to this question, scientifically speaking. The answer often lies in what, exactly, is the significance of sucking on a finger or a pacifier for the parents. Different cultures, and different families, view thumbsucking or the use of a pacifier differently. Thus, many parents, without realizing, have very strong beliefs or reactions to one of these two behaviors, and this determines whether or not they encourage their infant to suck on a thumb or a pacifier. If I were forced to answer this question, I would have to think again about the reason why infants and toddlers suck on things…self-soothing. If we think about it this way, we realize that by sucking, the child is trying to soothe or relax himself, and in that case, the finger is the obvious choice, since the finger is always there! Having easy access to a finger allows a child to exert more control over his own feelings without having to depend on an adult for comfort all the time. However, I usually recommend that, before choosing whether or not to encourage thumb-sucking or sucking on a pacifier, the parents reflect upon which habit seems more appropriate to them. This is such a controversial issue among parents because most parents are afraid that if they allow a child to suck on a thumb or a pacifier, the child won’t be able to stop when he gets older, and they will require intervention to do so. The scientific research just does not support this belief! Most infants will show some sucking behavior within the first three weeks of life, and in general, it is nothing to worry about. The overwhelming majority of children will stop sucking their thumbs on their own between the ages of two and four years. The research shows that only about 5% of children will continue to suck their thumb after the age of four. Again, since thumbsucking is a relaxing, comforting habit for young children, they usually stop without any help from parents as they grow, mature, and learn other ways to self-soothe. (How many of your colleagues at work suck their thumbs?!) I think most parents would be surprised to find out that those children that continue to suck their thumbs after four or five years of age have usually had this habit reinforced by parents or other family members. Try to think of it this way: an infant or young toddler will usually suck his thumb in order to relax. When his parent scolds him for doing so, he may stop doing it right away because he also has a very strong desire to please his parents. However, during this interaction, the distress and discomfort of the child continues to grow, so in most cases, the child will start sucking again as soon as the parents aren’t there to catch him or punish him for it. The child then feels an even greater sense of relief and comfort when he starts sucking on his thumb again. In this way, the more parents scold a child or try to prevent him from sucking, the more they are reinforcing this habit. For this reason, I often ask parents to evaluate their own feelings and beliefs about thumbsucking vs. using a pacifier. If a parent has a more positive reaction to the pacifier than to the thumb, this means that they will be less likely to make negative comments, scold the child, or get upset when he is sucking. In this case, the pacifier would be a better option. However, if a parent is comfortable allowing an infant or toddler to suck his thumb when he needs to self-soothe, there is no scientific reason why the child should use a pacifier instead. Can this habit lead to some type of disorder? In general, no. Until children reach the age of four or five, we (child psychologists) do not consider it to be a problem, and young children who suck their thumbs are not different from children who don’t suck with regard to other developmental or psychological problems. However, once children enter school, thumbsucking can cause some social problems. That is, other children, teachers, and adults often react very negatively when an older child continues to suck his thumb, and this can lead to some social difficulties (e.g. teasing) or problems with self-esteem. I usually
What is stuttering?
Stuttering is a speech disorder that usually starts in early childhood that parents should know about. Read this post to know more about it
Psychosomatic illnesses, the invisible disease
Psychosomatic illnesses are very common. Almost one child in ten suffers from a chronic problem before the age of ten. Here we share the most common illnesses and how to manage it
How to encourage kids to go green!
With recycling plastic everywhere in the news right now, kids are never too young to start learning the importance of conservation, protecting the planet and to go green. Turn it off! One of the easiest ways to start conserving energy around the house is by simply flipping a switch. Making sure that all lights are turned off when you leave the house and that lights are off in rooms you are not using when you are home, can save energy and even save money on your electric bill. Let your children be in charge of “Operation Lights Off” and let them “patrol” the house and look for lights that need to be turned off. Also, ask your children to count all the light bulbs in the house, and ask them to let you know when they burn out. When replacing the bulbs, be sure to use new energy-saving low consumption bulbs. By turning off lights and using energy efficient bulbs you can save over 50 Euros a month! Get organised! Many of us still have trouble remembering to sort the recycling and somehow, despite our best efforts, that wine bottle still ends up in the bin with an empty can of peas and a three-day-old newspaper. This is a great time to bring in the kids. With three different color bins and a few instructions, you are ready to put your kids in charge of the recycling. Many of the local schools already have recycling programs in place, and you might be surprised at how knowledgeable your children are about recycling. And, your kids will get a kick out of telling you how to put things away for a change. Every drop counts! Take advantage of your children’s young age and small size, and let them all have a big bubble bath together. You might think that you are actually wasting water judging by how much gets splashed out onto the floor, but the fewer times you fill that tub, the more water you save. Also, encourage your children to always turn off the water while they are brushing their teeth. Get clearing out! With small children in the house, it is unbelievable how fast things accumulate – a teddy bear here, a new train there, and before you know it, your house looks like an overstocked toy store. There are many great charities and organizations in town that collect second-hand children’s toys and goods to either be sold or given to children who need them. Get your children into the act and put them in charge of cleaning out their toy box and letting them pick out things to give away that they think other children will love and use. The two best times of the year to do this is right before Christmas and your child’s birthday – two times when a wave of new things is about to descend on your house. Your kids will be recycling and reusing old toys and helping others at the same time. One place that accepts donations year round is the American Women’s Club. They sell the items at a second-hand sale and use the proceeds to fund various charitable organizations in Spain. Would you like to know about more activities for your child? Read or blog! Do you have any other ideas for encouraging your kids to recycle? Let us know on our facebook page.
James, the Sensory Seeking Six Year-old
A Day in the Life of a Child with Sensory Processing Disorder by Tara Konradi, OTD, OTR/L of SINEWS Multilingual Therapy Institute How is it the behavior or a sensory seeking child and how to identify it?… “Bang! Thud, crash, pitter-patter, pitter-patter” Ana jolts out of bed to the sound of her six-year-old running through the hall to the living room. She looks at the clock; it isn’t quite 7 am. Her husband continues to sleep soundly next to her as she slips out of bed and into the living room where she finds James, her son, with all of the toys from his toy box spread across the room. “Zoom! Look, mom!” James yells as he jumps from the couch to the floor holding a toy plane in his hand. Initially, Ana cringes and wants to scold James for jumping on the furniture, but remembers what her occupational therapist told her about James’s need for seeking out sensory experiences, especially sensation in the muscles and joints, movement through space, and sound. “Wow! You’re a pilot!” Ana exclaims as she grabs his arms and helps him jump off the couch one more time. She spins him around in her arms like an airplane as he squeals with excitement. “Great landing, pilot. Now you’ve got to prepare for your next assignment: school! Go on, get dressed,” she says as she guides him down the hall to his room grasping his hips and making plane sounds. Ana leaves James in his room to get dressed as she goes to get ready herself. Her husband is up now and asks what James was up to. A wave of anger rushes over her as she visualizes him sleeping as she had to jump out of bed to attend to their son. She knows her husband means well and is just a naturally deep sleeper, but she can’t help resent it a bit. The father finally agreed in taking James to occupational therapy Actually, neither of them had even heard of occupational therapy until the school psychologist mentioned that James might benefit from it. After weeks of complaints from teachers and difficulties at home, they decided to bring James in for an evaluation. The occupational therapist (OT) explained to them that James’s engine is chronically running too fast. The OT called it a Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) and told them that James has difficulty turning sensory information into appropriate behavior. For James, this means he is constantly craving and aggressively seeking out sensory input. She mentioned that the disorder could also cause children to have engines that run too slow, and Ana wondered why she was blessed with James the tornado. At first, the family was led to believe James had Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), but they visited a very experienced child psychologist who ruled that out. Ana was relieved; she knew it just didn’t quite fit the bill for James. Now, after only two months of OT intervention, they are seeing many changes in their son, and are encouraged and eager to learn more ways they can help him better organize his sensory needs to achieve states of calm and focus attention. Ana goes to check on the progress James has made getting dressed. His clothes for the day were previously laid out nicely in the order in which he was to put them on, but now they were thrown all over the room and some had actually made their way into James’s body. Ana smiles and looks at her son in socks and a t-shirt, but no pants as he plays with his cars in the corner of his room. “Let’s get moving tiger!” she says as she tickles him and manages to grab his pants at the same time. She helps him into his pants and gives him a kiss as they head to the bathroom to finish getting ready. What once took half an hour of struggling to get James dressed is now down to 15 minutes, and although she still helps him with many things, she is confident he’ll be able to do it himself one day soon. For children like James who are sensory seeking, it is often difficult to organize their behavior So activities such as dressing are difficult because their need for sensory input (playing with cars) is so consuming that organizing the activity (dressing) is very hard. When they make their way to the car to drive to school James runs across the yard and climbs up their medium sized maple tree. “Look! I’m a monkey!” he yells as he swings back and forth on a branch. “Wow, monkey! Can you swing back and forth 5 times and then jump in the car?” replies Ana, hoping that allowing James to swing will give him enough input to stay put in the car long enough to reach school without any incidences. “One, two, three, four, five!” He swings back and forth five times and jumps to the ground. He runs into the car without resistance. A sigh of relief runs over Ana. It worked! At school, James is found touching, prodding and pushing the kids in the hallway. His teachers scold him to keep his hands to himself as the children complain. Keeping his hands to himself causes both social and disciplinary problems for James, but once in the classroom, he finds himself feeling calmer and organized as he is allowed to play with the fidgety toy that is tied to the bottom of his desk. Fidgeting is common in sensory-seeking children. This was another idea the OT had for James to help him keep his hands to himself and be more organized and centered during class. “Take your pencils out and turn your language book to page 15,” says the teacher. James takes out his pencil with a chewy rubber topper. This T-shaped pencil topper with little nubbies on it is designed for James to chew on. It was another idea the OT